The Irish BBQ.

Ask yourself what do you think are the major contributions that the Irish have made to Australian culture? Did you answer: a distain for the monarchy, religion, guiness, Irish jokes, river dance concerts, Van Morrison, Enya, Jim Owen, St Patricks Day, Father Ted, Irish backpackers, gift of the blarney, leprechauns or potatoes? All answers are good, but misguided.

Before this weekend Jen & I would have answered any of the above, but now we have had the pleasure to experience a traditional Irish BBQ. You may be wondering whats so special about this BBQ.

To start with this BBQ comes in a large flat cardboard box. This was carefully opened by the Irish BBQ Master, to reveal a foil tray 40 x 80 cms, extremely generous sizing for the task at hand, a wire grate and a small white paper bag which rattled. The next essential element was a southerly buster, gusting up to 75klms.

We then observed the lighting ceremony, which involved the construction of a pizza box size windproof 3 sided shelter, a faulty cigarette lighter and a small fire resistant wick of paper. After witnessing this important ritual, the ignorant Aussie (Glenn) naively offered to speed up the ignition process by utilizing petrol from a nearby discarded "demon possessed" outboard motor. The offer was declined as a flame miraculously appeared.

This was only the beginning.

We watched in reverent wonderment, as the white paper bag burst into flames to reveal several small black crunchy stones. One stone began to smoke. Great cheers of merriment erupted from the assembly. It was explained that cooking could not begin until all stones had turned to grey. As the chosen stone turned the required colour, our stomachs began to rumble in anticipation.

Several hours later the cooking process began, when some other black stones obligingly turned the required colour. More cheering from the hungry crowd. The food was then carefully arranged on the grate; a delicate selection of international sausages.

Time passed slowly.

We were then privileged to observe a natural phenomenon. While one sausage turned a gentle golden brown, the 15 others migrated around it to share the warmth. The presiding Irish master of BBQ's selected twigs of a certain size and shape, to turn the resistant cold sausages. At this stage 3 live specimens jumped off the BBQ preferring to lie in the dust, rather than wait any longer. They were quickly herded back on to the not so raging inferno to suffer a slow and painfully boring death.

Time ticked by.

To our amazement, before we knew it all the snags were perfectly cooked. It didn't take more than a few seconds for them to be devoured, with tasty turkish bread, mustard and condiments.

After all food was consumed, the tray and all its contents spontaneously combusted, presenting another challenge for BBQ master. When we last saw him he was waist deep in the cleansing waters of the Moruya river, tray in hand and geyser like steam rising from his shorts.

So ends our fable of how the Irish BBQ became popular in Australian culture.

Happy Australia Day 2010.

Thanks Dave & Gertie, we had the best time and the food was delicious.

Pic: Glenn & spot the Irish BBQ.